lucky devil

I know if I am other than being a Malay, I will never be where I am.
Oh, but that's not precisely correct.
I'm half Malay and mixed with all this things that make me beautiful. Oh yes I blame my genetics for my skins and bones but not my destiny.

I got grades.
Fate's on my side, yeah?

So why'ca point ya yello und brown finger to me?
I'm going off to Dubai next month has got nothing to do with my race.

anomaly

I didn't stomp on the grounds, nor did I spit on it.
What a waste of my good cells for such a godforsaken place.

The place where I got bruised and raped.
Where I got my first kiss and my heart broken.
I saw my handwriting on the wall that says: If its not that painful anymore -circa 1998

Even if its not painful, I'm surprised that it isn't, but I don't worship the grounds which you and I used to tromp upon, dear Captain.

I'm not in love with you anymore.
And if there's anything more hurtful than being reminded that I was, nothing will ever be.

i'll be safe in iran

because they're no gays and lesbos.
I can cut the chase and be happy wagging Ahamadinejad posters to these buggers.

But no. I'm going to Dubai.

skipping alumni dinner

Trinity College. Oh Glorious Cambridge.

Other than making me a person capable of counting dollars and cents and sense correctly, its just a place I used to go. And sleep for more than 6 months for holidays when I should be reading more books but I read more than any other average people. So I'm not completely useless.

But I don't miss it.
Made me wear the Italian suits, girls and boys drool over me but I can't be the fool though I wish I can be. Let loose and be free.

How can you miss the prison that make what you are.
Proud of what I am, with or without education.

everything burns

I'll stop grieving over you, Your Highness.
For you, everything I bestow.

suicide note

I'll kill this self.
The innocent self that loved to the grim of death, the captain of doom.
That I sold my soul to the devil.
Raped, molested and pleasure of lust for a white wings of the high and mighty.
Where I'll never belong.

I'll kill this self.
The tormented self, broken to the brim of insanity and picked by the merciful angel.
Pure and sweet, your royal highness for you everything I bestow.
Greed and vengeance had taken its toll on the mistaken victim.
I shan't be forgiven.

I'll kill this self.
The spiteful self, the mourning and grieving.
I'm lost in space, and you're the sun of my universe.

I'll kill them all but the sun. But the sun shines on me. But the sun.
Where no darkness reigns.